Every experience is a chance to grow

New Year is up, and it’s a fun and exciting time. It’s a time for new beginnings and opportunities to do something with our lives. We see it as a new book with blank pages where we can add new stories and make new chapters. New experiences to write and talk about.

During the turn of the new year, I always like to reflect on the things that happened, learn from it and grow. This occasion makes an excellent RESET button for me. A time when I sit down, think and reflect on the lessons I have learned and how to make use of them to help me grow for the better.

When I think about it, I have met pretty impressive people and had amazing experiences over the years, some good and some not-so-good, all of which contributed to the person I am today. They helped put layers in my life, and I wouldn’t change a single thing. And for this, I want to say my THANK YOU to all those that stayed, and those who were just passing by, all of you made your mark in my life.

important lessons I've learned

When life gives you lemons

In my 34 years, I have learned a lot about myself, my strong and weak points, and how I handle life’s challenges – and I believed I’m not stopping here! A good quality to have is to be optimistic. Optimistic people are those who can breeze through life’s hardships easily, they make the most of every situation, and they are fun to be with.

Here are few of the important lessons my experiences taught me and made me who I am today:

Work for what you want

This applies to our profession or personal growth. No matter what you do or when, if you put your hundred percent, it always pays off in the end. As I look back, life was never awful, I had a roof over my head, food on the table, a good education – all of these are the result of my parents’ and grandparents’ hard work, and I am very grateful! Because of them, I learned that if you work hard, that effort ripples and touches the lives of the people you love. A big part of who I am today is because of them. Dreams and aspirations are not handed to you on a silver platter; they are achieved through effort and dedication. So work hard for what you want in life.

Be true to yourself

If you think about it in a broader sense, a lot of the things in our lives rely on our ability to connect and truly understand our true self. Knowing who we are, makes it easier to choose a life that is made solely for us. It’s an important step to be truly happy. To be able to mold a future we won’t regret in the end. I try to see my worth; I don’t settle for less just because others expect me to put on a mask and pretend to be someone I’m not. How can I be truly happy and contented if I let that happen?

It’s okay to FAIL

Failure is inevitable. Get up, dust yourself off and move forward. I have encountered countless of failures, but what I get from it is far more valuable – It’s learning to do better the next time. The most significant misconception that was put into our minds is that if we fail, it leaves a permanent mark that changes our lives for the worse. This is not true! Failure is part of life; it is a crucial step to achieve success. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and it’s that dents and scratches that make a good character. So do not give up on your first try.

Learn to say NO

Saying YES is not always a good thing. If things get too overwhelming, then learn to say NO. I have learned that saying NO is a way for people to see me, as someone “who is in the control of their life,” who projects a persona that you don’t say YES to please everyone – and you don’t have to. You will be doing a disfavor to yourself and another person if you say YES every single time. But there is a catch, the art of saying NO is a tricky one; you need to learn when and how to say it properly.

Good memories matter

Memories are treasures. They are what brings us back to the past and relive the emotions of that day. Our very own personal reruns of our favorite movie. Memories help us recollect our thoughts. I encourage you all to do this – if you are not sure of yourself, remember the memories that helped you get to where you are right now. If you are not sure about your relationship, recall the memories that made you decide to spend the rest of your life together. By going back and reliving the past through our minds, it blurs out the doubt and insecurities of the moment. So don’t stop making good memories. They keep us in check.

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Communicate properly

Misunderstanding happens quite often in a relationship. My husband and I learned this the hard way. Our two years apart was the hardest, I worked in Bahrain, and he stayed in the Philippines, the strain of being away didn’t help at all. We never ended a day without talking or texting each other, but how come we fought a lot? It was because we were not communicating well. Communication is not just speaking, it’s delivering a message clearly. Listening and truly understanding the message are also important aspects of communication.

 

Let go of  the NEGATIVES

I need to feel that I deserve everything I have worked for and that I have the right to be the person I am meant to be. Letting go of all the negativity in my life has helped me reach that state. I am not saying I’m perfect, I too am haunted by my negative thoughts and assumptions, it would not come to a surprise if someone has cut me off their lives entirely, but that’s okay, I do not let it consume me. I have learned that by letting go of the negativity, I have come to appreciate the people and the things that truly matter.

Don’t make decisions when you’re angry

Our emotions can influence our decisions – good or bad. We throw away our rational thinking and let our feelings take over and decide on our behalf. When we are immersed in our emotions, we cloud our minds and blur our thinking. I am not immune to this – I’ve made some decisions when I’m at the peak of my anger and regretted it. Decisions based on emotions are not entirely good. So be careful. Let your feelings run its course first.

A proper mindset can do wonders

A mindset is like an inner pattern, and it tells you what to do or how to feel. This can affect your way of thinking and how you look into things. All you need to do is filter them and listen carefully. A proper mindset helps you see things in a positive way, see through the haze of uncertainty and more on the intention. You can see the good in every bad situation, boost up your mood and helps you tackle your hard days ahead. Success is a product of both hard work and proper mindset. So think positive!

You can’t be everyone’s favorite

Yes, this is true, and it’s okay. Everyone will always have something to say, good or bad. Do not focus on pleasing others, focus on pleasing yourself. By prioritizing yourself, you will be able to unlock the boundless potential for self-growth. If you live a life, not for yourself then you live a life that is unhappy and unfulfilling – you must save yourself from worthless emotions such as insecurities and frustrations. So put yourself out there and worry less!

Have Faith

Faith can be anything from person to person. An important factor of faith is to recognize that something out there is more significant than us. We can’t control everything, and that’s the truth. We just have to build a strong spiritual foundation to be able to walk a clear path and to trust the stronger HAND that works wonders in our lives. To have faith is to know that there will always be a silver lining no matter how bad we feel or how low we are in our lives right now – someone GREAT is looking after us.

Learn to FORGIVE

This by far was the hardest lesson for me. It was a struggle because of the pain and the hurt. But I have learned to forgive. I have learned to let go and free myself from the burden of hate and distrust. It is not an easy feat. The act of forgiveness helps a person center their strength into their well-being by removing the anger, hatred, and grudges inside their heart. So learn to forgive, ask for forgiveness and move on. Everyone deserves to have peace in their lives.

These are some of the important takeaways I’ve collected over the years, and I am hoping to add more!

Make lemonades

Some people live their whole life unhappy and never do a single new thing because they fear that unfavorable turn of events could happen. Experiences that aren’t the best are the ones that will have an enormous impact on who we will become in the future. Truth be told, life’s ugliness creates some necessary contrasts for a proper perspective. It is what makes us tougher and wiser.

We must learn to turn our scars, no matter how small it is, into valuable wisdom. So if life gives you lemons, make it the best tasting lemonade you’ve ever had! Don’t forget to write down the recipe and share 🙂

What have you learned over the years?

Share your thoughts and comments below

 

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